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Child Sexual Abuse

10/1/2012

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Child sexual abuse has been reported up to 80,000 times a year,   but the number of unreported instances is far greater, because the children are  afraid to tell anyone what has happened, and the legal procedure for validating  an episode is difficult. The problem should be identified, the abuse stopped,  and the child should receive professional help. The long-term emotional and psychological damage of sexual abuse can be devastating to the  child.

Child sexual abuse can take place within the family, by a  parent, step-parent, sibling or other relative; or outside the home, for   example, by a friend, neighbor, child care person, teacher, or stranger. When sexual abuse has occurred, a child can develop a variety of distressing feelings, thoughts and behaviors.

No child is psychologically prepared to cope with repeated  sexual stimulation. Even a two or three year old, who cannot know the sexual activity is wrong, will develop problems resulting from the inability to cope  with the overstimulation.

The child of five or older who knows and cares for the abuser  becomes trapped between affection or loyalty for the person, and the sense that  the sexual activities are terribly wrong. If the child tries to break away from  the sexual relationship, the abuser may threaten the child with violence or loss  of love. When sexual abuse occurs within the family, the child may fear the  anger, jealousy or shame of other family members, or be afraid the family will  break up if the secret is told.

A child who is the victim of prolonged sexual abuse usually  develops low self-esteem, a feeling of worthlessness and an abnormal or distorted view of sex. The child may become withdrawn and mistrustful of   adults, and can become suicidal.

Some children who have been sexually abused have difficulty  relating to others except on sexual terms. Some sexually abused children become child abusers or prostitutes, or have other serious problems when they reach  adulthood.

Often there are no obvious external signs of child sexual abuse.  Some signs can only be detected on physical exam by a  physician.

 Sexually abused children may also develop the following:
•unusual interest in or avoidance of all things of a sexual
nature 
•sleep problems or nightmares 
•depression or withdrawal from friends or family 
•seductiveness 
•statements that their bodies are dirty or damaged, or fear that
there is something wrong with them in the genital area 
•refusal to go to school 
•delinquency/conduct problems 
•secretiveness 
•aspects of sexual molestation in drawings, games, fantasies 
•unusual aggressiveness, or 
•suicidal behavior 

Child sexual abusers can make the child extremely fearful of  telling, and only when a special effort has helped the child to feel safe, can  the child talk freely. If a child says that he or she has been molested, parents  should try to remain calm and reassure the child that what happened was not  their fault. Parents should seek a medical examination and psychiatric  consultation.  
 
Parents can prevent or lessen the chance of sexual abuse by: 
 •Telling children that if someone tries to touch your body and
do things that make you feel funny, say NO to that person and tell me right away 
  •Teaching children that respect does not mean blind obedience to
adults and to authority, for example, don't tell children to, Always do
everything the teacher or baby-sitter tells you to do 
  •Encouraging professional prevention programs in the local
school system 

Sexually  abused children and their families need immediate professional evaluation and  treatment. Child and adolescent psychiatrists can help abused children regain a  sense of self-esteem, cope with feelings of guilt about the abuse, and begin the  process of overcoming the trauma. Such treatment can help reduce the risk that  the child will develop serious problems as an adult. 
 
Excerpts from Your Child on Sexual Abuse
Many parents are unsure or squeamish about bringing up sexual  matters, especially with their children. Yet, there are ways of laying the  groundwork so that you can talk to your child without scaring her. Establish an  open dialogue about sexual issues early on. If you introduce the subject of sex  in a discussion of abuse, there is the danger that the idea of sex may become  automatically linked in your child’s mind with danger and  anxiety.

 If you have fostered in your child a sense of ownership   regarding her body, she will likely have an instinct about what is okay for her   body and what is not. You build on her natural sense of ownerships of her body   by letting her pick out her own clothes or wash herself in her own way. Also,   avoid pushing her to kiss or hug other adults when she clearly does not want   to.

Finally,  when parents treat their children’s bodies with respect, children tend to demand  that others treat their bodies in a similar manner. Children who are  consistently hit, grabbed, or physically punished at home may feel that adults  are entitled to misuse their bodies simply because they are bigger
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    Beth Watson, LCSW

    I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a strong spiritual foundation providing counseling in the Tallahassee, Florida area.  My areas of interest include grief and loss, depression and anxiety, women's emotional health, trauma related issues such as PTSD, family substance abuse issues, domestic violence and family counseling including couples counseling, children and adolescent behavioral issues and parenting. Giving back is very rewarding with the growth and satisfaction of each client. It is my passion and my honor to serve others. 
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